Collaboration request
7 months ago
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
I have a question for you all-
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Me
My Marine
my new last name is Little!
+Marine & his wifey
About Me
- LCpl'sPrincess
- I am 25, in nursing school and have my BS in Kinesiology where i met my honey, my better half is 27, an Infantry Marine, has his BS in Kinesiology and Pre-Law, he is easily the most amazing person I know. Yes, I am one of those people who is consumed by LOVE! Right now we are 14 hours away from each other, and yes distance is a B*TCH! But I can honestly say I think we do an amazing job at it, of course there will be bumps when you can't see and hold the thing you love most in the world, we battle mis-communication, juggling schedules, and separation anxiety but I can honestly say everyday, every second he is worth it! I have a 4lb yorkie (Jessi) and a fat tabby cat (Oscar)
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Great post. We've been living together for less than a month now so we're still learning as we go on. I'd love to see what others have to say as advice.
ReplyDeleteYou just can't bring it home. I know that is easier said than done. Hubby is really good at it. He doesn't like to tell me all the crap that goes on at work because he doesn't want to bring it home. I don't mind that be vents to me. You just can't come mad and take it out on us.
ReplyDeleteUnless he talks to me when he walks in the door I let him have at least 30min of "cool-down" time after work. Whether that be his rinse off shower, some xbox with the boys, sitting in front of the TV, or just leaving him in silence. He told me one day that he was very grateful I don't start conversations right away when he gets home, that he likes having time to wind down.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what your husband does... but mine deals with really secret stuff (they can't tell anyone what they work on until 20yrs after they get out of the military - like I'll care by then!) so obviously I can't really ask him much about work. I can however learn his "signs" how he acts when he walks in the door, his facial expressions, etc. If it's been a bad day, I am just there for him.
Being involved with the military makes it hard to really separate yourself from it, whether you are a spouse or a servicemember. My husband and I have always agreed that we each have an hour once we get home from work to grip about whatever happened that day (my hubby is a HUGE talker). Once that hour is up, we let it go and focus on each other.
ReplyDeleteNot to go too in-depth here, but make sure you have your moments of intimacy. That doesn't mean only sex, but spending time together. Intimacy is the super-glue of a marriage, so as long as you two are able to be together, you should strive for that. That closeness will wipe out the stresses of work and not allow anything to come between you. It takes work, but you can do it!
Communication. I know everyone says this, but it's because it's true! My husband doesn't tell me everything that goes on with his soldiers - he cant. But he does tell me when he's had a difficult situation. I try to just listen and give him enough time and space to work it out and solve it on his own. But we still maintain communication and involve each other in our work. It's tough because we both work under strict confidentiality (he with military personell and I with Juvenile Offenders). We both agree that we get 30 min of decompression time when we get off work and that really helps to not bring the stress of the day into our evenings.
ReplyDeleteI always try to give him some "alone time" to cool off, chill, or vent. Usually he'll play Call of Duty or something... Then later when I can tell he's calmed down I'll ask if he's ready to talk or if I should just leave it alone. Then, I'll do something special for him, like an extra back rub or head scratch. :)
ReplyDeleteWell, let me take a shot at this. I have been happily married for 16 years, the whole of our Marriage started after boot camp (we got married on boot camp leave). The growing pains were tough, learning to live together, learning one anothers habits and "diplomatically" working them out. The best advice I ever got was the same I give everyone, "only one of you can be crazy at a time". It works, it is now habit, when my hubs has had a hard day I am sensitive to it, and what ever I am dealing with he returns the favor. We try not to stress about the same things, one of us stressing about it is enough, and really as crazy as it sounds it works for us. Learn how to fight, I mean that, your going to be unhappy about things from time to time. Fight right, don't be passive aggressive and address what the real issue is. Don't get pissed because he left his stinky PT clothes on the bathroom floor when what you might really be angry about is he isn't helping out enough. These types of things really flare up right before deployments so be on the look out for those things. You will be fine, marriage is not work but it is a journey, its not 50/50 its 100/100. Most importantly, stay friends..loving someone is the easy part, liking them is what is harder.
ReplyDeletegreat advice!
ReplyDeleteI pretty much have to agree with everything these ladies have said! I just started following you and I love your blog, so I gave you an award :) http://standingbyhim.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-first-award_22.html
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I just have to say you guys look so cute together! And like someone else said, we always give each other a half an hour to relax and unwind when we get home from work...although, that was when he had a regular job. I'm not sure if this will change once we are completely into the military lifestyle. It always seemed like I was more stressed with my job at the hospital than he was (working for the family business).
ReplyDeleteI haven't started living with my hubby yet so I've definitely enjoyed reading what these ladies had to say!
ReplyDelete