So I talked it out with my Dad, he saw where I was coming from, agreed completely, but said that he could not just sit and wonder if he cut his brother off if that would leave him under a bridge somewhere to live a life of begging or to die. ( in Jackson its common for bums to live under bridges, beg for money, and harass you at red lights) SO with that being said I told my Dad I was never going to be within a 50 foot radius of my uncle and that I never wanted to hear his name mentioned again, Dad said he understood and that was that. Will it continue to tick me off? oh sure.. But its not my call to make I guess, I did what I could and now I'm putting the drama and bull shit that is my uncle behind me! Thanks for the ear/advice gals!
Oooooh bloggers, I have been dealing with family drama that I have no answer to! My uncle ( my Dads brother) is an alcoholic and has been for 30 years, He has 3 daughters and my aunt left him about 20 years ago because he was maxing out her credit cards to gamble. 2 of his 3 daughters no longer speak to him, he is my Dads baby brother and my father has ALWAYS done done done for him, out of college my Dad started his own oil company and employed his brother but after my aunt left him my uncle quit working and started wasting his life away...
But here is where the problem begins to effect me. The daughter, my cousin, that DOES still talk to him is my best friend, we are only 1 year apart and have always been close, she calls me crying about his drunken rants etc etc all the time, and it gets more complicated my Dad- is his enabler. He pays all his bills ( my uncle has not had a job in years) cell phone, internet, bought his car, and obviously if my Dad is giving him $$$ then my uncle is buying alcohol with it. The problem lies (OBVIOUSLY #1 with my uncle) but a close #2 is my Dad. He evens goes as far as to pay my uncles child support to my aunt so she doesn't throw him in jail!!! (all the while my dad is calling my aunt a bitch) It has gotten my father and I in numerous fights because its not right. Its not fair that my uncle is getting away with this lifestyle. I have always grown up being taught that when you make poor decisions YOU have to pay the price, so why is my Dad allowing a double standard for his brother? I often tell my Dad how would he feel if my husband treated me and my preverbial 3 daughters the way my uncle behaves? Because it is my Dads brother he is unwilling to see, or admit that his brother is using him! My brother and I were raised that if you are going to have children you have a moral and financial responsibility to them, my brother is an upstanding, contributer to society, he is a surgeon married to a pharmacist, I am in my last yer of nursing school and married a Marine, I don't understand why my father holds his own children to a "provide for your family" standard yet allows my uncle to skip out on BASIC adult responsiblities?!?!?!
Today I am going to talk to my Dad and tell him that I want nothing to do with my uncle anymore, nor do I want to hear the excuses my Dad continuously makes for him. My uncle is brazan and bold about how my dad pays for everything, he often makes jokes about "its funny how everything always works out for me" or "hey, I just mixed a drink in your driveway, hope you dont mind" UH YEAH I MIND ALOT! I need some help bloggers HOW DO I GET MY DAD TO STOP ENABLING MY UNCLE?!?!?!?!?! it is tearing my family apart!
I am 25, in nursing school and have my BS in Kinesiology where i met my honey, my better half is 27, an Infantry Marine, has his BS in Kinesiology and Pre-Law, he is easily the most amazing person I know. Yes, I am one of those people who is consumed by LOVE! Right now we are 14 hours away from each other, and yes distance is a B*TCH! But I can honestly say I think we do an amazing job at it, of course there will be bumps when you can't see and hold the thing you love most in the world, we battle mis-communication, juggling schedules, and separation anxiety but I can honestly say everyday, every second he is worth it! I have a 4lb yorkie (Jessi) and a fat tabby cat (Oscar)