Thursday, July 29, 2010

How do you handle "haters"?

On milspouse.com things have gotten extremely heated lately. There are a group of older women on there that seemed to have an agenda with younger wives.(though I think one got kicked off yesterday and another may have left) Anytime you posted your feelings as someone under 40, you got belittled, shot down, (any phrase of the type will due) I FINALLY said something about it only to get bitched at LIKE WHOA. Many posters posted back saying they agreed how negative things had become and how they had been sitting back ,idle, not posting, or even coming to the site out of fear of being attacked. I tend to be head on about things, but was surprised at how many women were sitting back (perhaps in fear) letting the cyber bullies have their way! Peeking my interest - how do you all handle "haters"

15 comments:

  1. I think its great you stood up to them, and I dont think you should back down regardless of them "hating" on you. I like to think thats how I would handle things. I like to be straight forward, but honestly sometimes I let things slide because I HATE drama.

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  2. This is why I stay out of discussion boards for the most part. The anonymity the internet provides brings out the worst in people. I have pretty thin skin, but stupidly, I won't back down from a fight, so I just don't go there. :)

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  3. I have this problem on another board. I have no problem sticking up for myself or others but a lot of other girls just thank me in private and don't stand up for themselves. It makes me sad because then the bullies put a mean, rude tone on every thread!! I haven't found a good solution but it's unfortunate since us women should be working together and not tearing each other down for no good reason!

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  4. That is awful that they are acting like that at 40+ years old. We are all military spouses no matter how old we are it is a support site for all military spouses/ girl friends etc. I am glad you stood up to them, and thank you for saying what needed to be said. I left that site weeks ago because it was getting so bad, I mean I dont need that kind of negativity in my life from a supposed "support" site. Thank you for standing up for everyone.

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  5. Woah! I don't post for a month and I miss out on so much. Crazy.

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  6. Jamie- EXACT same story on my end!

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  7. I just try not to let it get to me but unfortunately I also spend less time on the site and so do many of friends who just don't think grown women should act that way! I wish I had better advice. I hate cyber bullies : ( I don't know why some women are so mean-spirited especially in our situations.

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  8. I know exactly who you are talking about. I read alot on there, but don't post as much. I've been avoiding it lately cause they just piss me off! Half of the stuff they say isn't right anyways.

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  9. How do you deal with haters? You don't let them get to you, you keep on posting. Like someone else said, the anonymity of the internet helps make some people feel super powerful because they never have to say who they are. And some of those people would never have the guts to say those things in person. You just keep offering up advice and keep posting like you always did. If people say negative things, you just say "thank you for you comment," and then move on to the next one. Maybe things will settle down now?

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  10. First of all, thank you... I didn't know they had forums on the site and now I'm on there too.

    In my opinion, if something really needs to be said, I'll say it. As tactful as possible and then leave it at that. But sometimes people are petty and it's best to just leave it alone, you'll never win!

    xx

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  11. Well I went on the forums to try to start an intelligent conversation about this and within a half an hour the ugly showed it's face. As I think I was described as elderly and elitist (LOL) of which I don't consider myself either I was than commented on by one of the "mean" older wives. I called her out, told her I had heard about her and she should give some thought to why that is. I am an older wife, I support ALL wives, and that is the only way it should be. I will no longer visit the forums of Milspouse mag and thats too bad because it should be a positive outlet for spouses.

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  12. There is an award for you to pick up on my blog!

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  13. I just hate thtat this has all happened period. Milspouse was so great when I started a few months back, its just childish to me. I start writing and just erase it bc I would go on and on, and wouldn't have any friends.

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  14. you know, I stopped going onto the site because of all the catty (excuse my language) bitches on there... (anyone sticking up for themselves, their friends, and/or their beliefs are excluded from this btw) I joined the site to meet a nice group of people who were going through the same thing as i was, and for upport while i was going through one of the hardest times of my life, not to be in the middle of a constant cat fight. no one attacked me personally, but I felt like i had enough drama in my life at the time, and didnt need the extra, so i just stopped going on there... its really sad that milspouses can be like that... like one of the girls above said, its supposed to be a site for us to support eachother, not bash eachother...

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